Carpe Diem

by sarahmfry, December 30, 2007
From the artwork in my dining room:


"Work like you don't need the money
Love as if you've never been hurt
Dance as if no one is watching"
It's been such a long time since I've written. If you're looking for a place to get your fresh daily blog, mine is definately not the place. But in this season of my life I'm happy with my ketchup blogging. I write when I can.

There have been so many things lately I've wanted to write about, but couldn't decide which were the most important. My camera and my computer are once again at war. And frankly, it looks like Christmas has exploded in every room of our house. Simply keeping up has been a top priority (although not very successful!). We're still not done partying, and I'm still not done chasing my tail around here. But I'm having one of those "have to write" moments.

I cuddled up on the couch for some precious Sunday afternoon reading. But I went to the computer to look up something related to the book I was reading. I stumbled upon the writings of Carrie Oliver (deceased wife of the co-author of my book), who demonstrated her faith in an awe-inspiring way during her battle with cancer.

Reading through her journey - her faith, her pain, her fear, her inspiration - has stirred me deeply and reminded me of the Rock I have in my Abba. Two months before she died she walked through the grief of losing a child. She experienced the levels of life's grief and pain that I fear and dread.

But she clearly lived by my high school motto: "Carpe Diem." She seized every day. She viewed a trip through the halls of a hospital to another chemo treatment as a chance to share her faith with the hospital staff. She viewed an afternoon of coffee and shopping with friends as a gift from God. Oh, was she ever right.

A couple of days ago we spent some time once again in the Emergency Room with Kayla's asthma. Although these visits are not even remotely in the same category as the illnesses others deal with, they remind me of what a thin line our breath on earth is. Watching Kayla curled up in the wheelchair on her way to xray, watching her tiny little form holding on to the xray machines. Holding her hand while they put in IV's as she sobs. How could we take a single solitary breath for granted?

Even before my reading this woman's journal of faith, this has been one of those days when I have cherished the moments. I have laughed at my babies and squeezed them and kissed them and wondered at how amazing they are. (Even now, as I write, Kayla is sitting at the kitchen table happily eating leftovers and talking my head off - asking questions about life's great mysteries from quintuplets to why we call dinner dinner.)

But I am so completely aware that God's goodness....His faithfulness...My faith...is not based on the fact that He's been so "good" to me by keeping my babies alive and giving us health. My faith runs so much deeper than that - It is based on the merit of His Goodness and Holiness alone. I sincerely pray that He will not test me on that statement.

(You should see my crazy Kayla now - standing on the kitchen chair in nothing but her elephant panties demonstrating the loud and amazing call of an imaginary bird she created - an "Aparigon." And she has corrected me on my spelling of said bird.)

Anyway...I've been letting the overwhelmed feeling of life creep in lately. I've enjoyed having my husband on break from PhD work and having a break from our normal relentless school and home schedule. And as the end of the holidays approaches, I feel the noose tightening around me again - making my stomach nervous and my mood negative. But how could I not realize that stopping to watch this elephant panties-clad kid demonstrate the egg-laying call of an imaginary bird is one of the purest joys I could experience? I know that figuring out a way not to be overwhelmed and get it all done is incredibly important. But it's so much more important that I remember to be present in the moments. To remember to live each day with joy - by choice. Not to ignore the pressures, but to drink in the beauty. It's all around me - sometimes buried under the "stuff" explosion that often happens in our cozy little bungalow.

(Did you know that an Aparigan is a hairy bird - it has hair on its head? We have the picture to prove it.)

It's one of the reasons that I love so much to walk. My walks clear out the stuff. I see the pine trees heavy with the snow and the fog light on the air and I remember to drink in the beauty. I feel the pain of my many ankle injuries and I remember not to take walking for granted. I feel the freezing air and am so grateful for a warm cozy house full of imaginary birds and crying babies. (These birds can also see and hear in the dark....Really, they can!)

I'm full of unshed tears of gratefulness.

I'm thankful for 5-year olds who can get their baby brothers out of bed after naps.

I'm thankful for naps!

I'm thankful for my cute little house.
For our gorgeous Christmas tree, surround by the gifting of about 14 Christmas parties.
For my handsome, incredible, diaper-changing husband
For good jobs and good friends and good food
For the joy of the years I have with my little children
For the frustration of a child with illness, which gives me compassion and understanding and a hunger to learn.....

For the heritage of a close family
For the sound of my mother laughing with her upraorious siblings
For the experience of learning under my father's direction

For books and music and walks
For grace and mercy, which I do not deserve
For forgiveness and comfort
For the rest of being anchored to an unmovable Rock
For the fear that keeps reminding me not to take the days for granted....

(I would like to happily announce the arrival of two baby Aparigans in our home - I just witnessed their hatching in a nest in our living room.)

As usual, when the Spirit has a message for my heart, it has been sent through many sources....spoken in different ways....come at me from many directions. I have been reminded through my child's illness, the passion of William Wilberforce, the journal of a dying mother....

I believed it when I was 17 in the excitement and dreams of youth. And I believe it now - as a 30-year old, overweight, goofy, dreaming, sometimes frazzled mother and teacher and wife.

I must seize each day. Stop for the moments. Be a constant student of how to work less and get more done. Never ignore beauty. Resist the urge to let life bury me. Don't hide the fact that I cry a lot and laugh really loud. Hug my babies. Kiss my husband. Respect my authorities. Respect everyone. Learn more about my students. Listen to more music. Talk more to my Abba.

Carpe Diem, friends. Seize your day.


Now if you'll please excuse me, there is one very hungry Aparigan and a very thirsty baby boy who need my attention...

Kayla's Kindergarten Christmas Program

by sarahmfry, December 11, 2007

Family Advent - Week 2

in , , , by sarahmfry, December 07, 2007
The first part of our family time was spent playing in our "winter wonderland." David came home early from studying to help us build showmen.
Caiden was hilarious - he moped around with his "blankie." He was mad because the snow was cold on his hands, but too stubborn to keep his gloves on. He'll learn.



Caiden Troy


Karissa Joy
Kayla Rose



We also made an attempt at a Christmas card picture. We're no longer perfectionistic about our cards. As long as they look fun and no one is standing on their head, it's a go. This is the card I'm considering. I know the girls aren't looking at the camera, so we may try to grab a snapshot again sometime later. Who knows.


We had so much fun playing in the snow - then we went inside to thaw our toes and warm up with some freezer pizzas, chocolate chip muffins (I'm infatuated with my new Jumbo muffin pan)- and of course - cocoa and cream.
Today's advent theme was JOY! It was Karissa's turn to light the candle - which we thought was appropriate because her middle name is Joy. Her name actually means "Gift of Joy."


Then, after some play time (and back to work for Daddy) we read Ordinary Baby, Extraordinary Gift and the kids went down for naps in preparation for our big night - the school Christmas play! Kayla is a talking lamb, and has a cute dialogue with a mouse. I'm pretty excited about seeing everyone's hard work.

snow, sore bottoms and crazy kids

by sarahmfry, December 06, 2007
Yesterday as we set out in our white minivan, sliding around on the ice with the beautiful white stuff all around us, Karissa was amazed. (Remember, she's 3 and we've lived in Alabama and Mississippi for the past 4 years. This is her first Yankee Christmas.)

She said...
"Did it snow in our land?"
yes
"Does Alyssa live in our land?"
yes
"Did it snow at Alyssa's house?"
yes
"There's snow everywhere!"
when we got to school to pick up Kayla - 3 minutes from our house
"Mommy! It snowed at Kayla's school TOO!"

She just now walked up to me and said, "It changed into white outside." It did? "Yes! Like snow....come SEE it!" (It's the second day of snow and she still can't get over it.)

*****
I'm cracking up at Karissa about everything this morning. She just got in trouble for disobeying me, and I gave her one of those spankings that you realize really should have hurt worse than it did. But she was convinced otherwise.

"OWWWWW! *sobbing* That Hourt! Mommy, You made my bottom SORE!"
(she said incredulously)

I literally hid my face and laughed. You'd think she'd get the idea by now that spankings are supposed to hurt.

*****

What is it with my kids? I stop for just a moment to blog, and they go bonkers. Caiden just walked up to Karissa and bashed her on the head with his new prized Black and Decker hack saw. As soon as he did it, the reaction on his face was hilarious. I don't know if he was appalled at himself for doing such a vicious thing, or if he could tell from his mamma's face that he was in deep doo-doo. But his eyes got big his face said. "Uh-oh" and he promptly handed me the offending weapon as a peace offering.

It didn't work (another sore bottom), but it was adorable.

He's the singing-est 18 month old baby boy I've ever had. His latest song is "I'm in the Lord's Army." He sings it all the time. And I"m almost sure I've been hearing him singing Zaccheus. I'm trying so hard to get him to sing Away in a Manger so he can be so cute and sweet at Christmas. But NO! He has to sing Zaccheus and Lord's Army.... He won't ever show off for me, anyway. He only sings when he's tootin around the house or when no one is around. Right now he's composing his own song, based on Kayla's phonics blend book. How exciting.

Week in Cincinnati ~ Wolf Christmas

by sarahmfry, December 03, 2007
We had such a wonderful time in Cincinnati this past week. Deanna and Mark are in from Ireland (they pastor there), and Garen and Crystal were in from Pennsylvania (he's been in charge of a huge construction project there.) So we were ALL together again! We went to rehearsals and went shopping and made fun of each other and cooked together and laughed and cried....Oh yeah, and ate European chocolate!

One of the highlights was the night all of the siblings sat around the fire late at night talking, drinking coffee and giving our baby sis advice on guys.

And we had our Wolf Christmas. This is De and Mark's "Holiday" (British for vacation), and part of the fam is going to their world right after Christmas. So we had an early Christmas. Grandma came home from Scarlet Oaks. Dad read the Christmas Story and we prayed. The kids got spoiled rotten, as usual (actually - we all did!). Our family is blessed beyond what I can say. We have added the most absolutely wonderful siblings through marriage - it makes the whole mess richer and crazier! Mom and Dad just smile and listen to our incessant jabbering.

We do not take these moments for granted.

The dinner table - a sacred place for our family. Long after the meal is done, you'll find us still there, solving the world's problems and laughing at one another.

Reading the Christmas Story....

Hangin' out with Uncle Garen

Breakfast at Garen and Crystal's...their famous Waffles and Omelets!!

Caiden's very own new big boy bike.....his face says it all.

My first trip to the Cincinnati Freedom Center - the GBS Choir sang there on Saturday, and it was broadcasted live at Fountain Square.

Well Said......

by sarahmfry, November 29, 2007
As silly as some of you may think the House Fairy is, she sho' said it good today!

Here's the closing paragraph of an email she sent us today:

"One of the miracles of Christmas and all spiritual holidays is that whether we are prepared or not, none of us is denied the wonderful blessings that go with this time of year. The celebration does not depend on candy canes and plum pudding. You don't have to be organized to sing Christmas carols or offer gifts of love and companionship. Understanding can't be stuffed into a Christmas stocking. Forgiveness can't be charged on a Visa. Laughter cannot be gift-wrapped. Peace can't be strung on a tree or poured into a glass of holiday cheer. Forgiveness, understanding, laughter, and peace are not dependent upon decorations, feasts or even a certain time of year. These things are gifts of the Spirit; gifts that have already been given to every one of us. Join together like the grasshopper and the ants. Share the gifts of the Spirit and celebrate this holy time."
~ House Fairy

P.S. - (On Traditions and Blogging)

by sarahmfry, November 28, 2007
I've been wanting to add a few thoughts about our Family Advent Night.

First: I didn't mention that our evening (from about 6-9) was not long enough to complete all of those activities all the way through. We wanted to experience all of the 3 new gifts, and basically followed the attention spans of the kids. Just didn't want anyone to set out for an 18-hour marathon familynight...... smiles

Second: The cookies were over-baked. The supper was simple. The dishes waited until the next morning. The packing wasn't finished. Didn't fuss over the girls' hair to impress anyone. I just let them be kids. No superwoman stuff involved. "Supermom" is a sure way to kill a family night.

I've just been thinking a lot about traditions and blogging and stuff. Sometimes, in my weaker moments, I become a little discouraged when I read blogs and start comparing. I start questioning myself, wondering if I'm really doing a good job and if I'm getting it together okay. And the absolute LAST thing I want to do is to make someone feel that way from reading one of our crazy traditions. But as I thought about it, I realized that this is just the way I do mommying. Some of our "traditions" fall flat on their faces or fizzle out and become "remember whens." That's okay. We do what we love. We figure out what sticks. We're having fun experimenting.

I absolutely love finding new resources and plans and books and ideas. But you know what? My mom was an incredible fly-by-the-seat-of-her-skirt parent. She had special devotion times and trips to the library, but she did it in a different way than I. And our family has memory cords that tie us forever together. My siblings are my best friends. My big strapping baby brother worries about me and takes care of me. Our faith runs deep and we are hungry for more. THAT'S what I want for my kids. And it's not because my mom was supermom. She just parented the way she did it best - what came natural to her. There's no mommy prize for "most activities in a year". It's about being together and being happy parents while we train our kids. (Dads - you're such a huge part of this! I'm so thankful for a husband who gets down on the floor and gets involved.)

Now I'm so excited about this idea, that we all bring the best of ourselves to our parenting. We all do it differently, and that's very good.

Family Advent Night - Week 1

in , , by sarahmfry, November 27, 2007
We never do have Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at home with our little family, so we tend to make a big deal out of Advent. It's a great teaching opportunity. This year I got some new ideas from Family Man. Because we'll be in Cincy on Dec. 2 (the first Sunday of Advent), we decided to celebrate Monday night. We desperately needed some quiet family time together. We had a chili supper together, lit the first candle ("Hope") and talked about the hope of Christmas and Christ coming again. My advent candles were a hoot. All I could find after my downsize from the move was a 3 broken Valentine candles and a Blue candle from De's wedding. We didn't care. We lit the blue candle and had a blast.

The the kids opened their 3 advent gifts (a Chrismas game, Advent crafts and a Christmas book - all by Family Man.) Let me stop here to say that we have noticed that if we wait until after all of the family Christmas gatherings to have our own family Christmas, it's a bit of a downer. The kids get so many gifts they're almost gifted out. So we decided to go light on the gifts, and put a little more into Advent. I'm also noticing the danger of our kids getting so used to recieving things that they lose the wonder of it. So we're actually considering in the future making our first Advent gathering our own little Christmas. To spread out the gifting a little.
Then we played our new Christmas game...."To Bethlehem." It was completely and visciously sabotaged by Caiden and even Karissa. But it was fun.Daddy had to flush the toilet as part of the game on his journey to Bethlehem. (Gotta get the game to understand.)

Then...our Advent craft. David and Kayla worked tirelessly on the beautiful Christmas Tree ornament while I tried to keep Caiden and Karissa from scattering the pieces from here to Israel.
We shared a special sparkling grape juice toast - I think we toasted to "advent crafts", at the request of Kayla. Whatever.
Oh yeah...and some white chocolate macadamia nut break-and-bake cookies!



Meanwhile - Caiden enjoyed his own personal toast. By this time I was totally wishing it was time to put him to bed. But he endured to the end.

We cuddled up for a great family Christmas video....

Then read part of our new book and put 3 tired kids to bed. It was fun.
When David was quizzing the kids after the devotional, he asked the kids what is something that we have hope for....Karissa said in her goofy way...."That GOD is coming to our house!"
I like that. Emmanuel. God with us. That is my hope.

Thanksgiving Snapshots

by sarahmfry, November 27, 2007
We had a beautiful Fry Thanksgiving with quite a gathering of people! Wonderuful time of Scriptures, Singing and Prayer before the feast. The Thanksgiving Journal is full of new treasures so many people wrote great entrys. I sat right by Nelda, Lupe and Mom
Fry - who jabbered happily in Spanish through the whole meal.
Caiden loves to eat.
It was Tami and Davin's Anniversary - with a delicious strawberry-layered "tres leches" cake made by Lupe.
And of course - the Fry tradition of games went late into the night. We LOVE games!!


Thursday night, the Kids and I and Nelda traveled to Cincy to spend Friday with my family. My brother and his wife have been living in Pennsylvania temporarily while he is in charge of a huge construction site there. They got to be home for Thanksgiving and we didn't want to miss it! I put the kids to bed and we headed out for the Night-time shopping at midnight. We came home, got some sleep and headed out again. I got almost all of my Christmas shopping done. It was a blast. Friday night the kids and I went to Scarlet Oaks Retirement Home to visit Great Grandma Wolf (93). She's there for rehab. We had a wonderful visit, but I think she was ready for her peace, quiet and dinner by the time we left.

It was a wonderful Thanksgiving.

1st Snow Celebration!

in , by sarahmfry, November 22, 2007
Today was our first snow!!! You have to understand, for a family of snow-loving Yankees who have been transplanted in the Deep South for 4 years, this is a BIG DEAL. We have been anxiously awaiting this day. The 2 youngest ones hardly even know what to do with snow.
So we started a Snow Day tradition (got the idea from the Family Man, who is awesome, by the way). His family goes out to eat at Long John Silvers and gets some type of "winter" gift. So we've been trying to decide what tradition fits us and is simple enough to repeat over the years. We decided going out to eat was a tough one on Thanksgiving Day, and as the director of this Circus train, I am aware that the expectation to do that on the specific day of the first snow each year could become frustrating. So we'll just play it by ear and it will develop as we go along. This year, the kids opened their "snow gifts" which were cool hats the girls had helped me pick out at Walmart. Caiden's still trying to warm up to his....Then we went ouside to catch the first snowflakes in a jar. Simple, but lots of fun.

I think I embarrassed my poor proper husband when I shouted with glee at the opened door to let everyone know it was snowing. I think the Lord sent me into his life for a reason....heehee







Now I'm home in a blissfully quiet house finishing up my baking. David took the kids on over to Grandma's to play. Tonight the kids and I plan to go to Cincy to be with my family tomorrow.












HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Speaking of Blessings.....

by sarahmfry, November 21, 2007
We were absolutely blessed out of our goards on "Harvest Sunday." It is a wonderful tradition that our church does every November. They give an amazing pounding to the teachers of the church school. Take a look!!
THANK YOU! To our wonderful Church....
We had a blast sorting through our goodies, and are having a blast using them, too! What a blessing.

Some Favorite Thanksgiving Stuff

by sarahmfry, November 21, 2007
Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember by Barbara Rainey.
Available through Family Life.
An incredible dramatization of the Thanksgiving story. We also love the CD of Thanksgiving music included. It is very mellow and appropriate for dinner music.

We have the CD version, but there is a book as well I'd like to get in the after-Thanksgiving sales.


Thanksliving Treasures
I almost hate to mention this one, because I can't find it anywhere on the internet. It is a discontinued product from Family Life. Maybe they'll re-issue it one of these days. I like to check various sellers online occasionally to see if I can find it. It is a little treasure box containing a booklet/devotional about Thanksgiving with small "treasures" that illustrate the story. I found it in some used homeschooling stuff at a bookstore. Keep an eye out and let me know if you find it!

Thanksgiving CD
This year, I have worked on another project of my own. As I've listened to Christmas music early (as we usually do) I have wished so much for a good radio station or collection of Thanksgiving/Praise music. So I've started collecting my own to make a Thanksgiving CD. We like the $.88 cent Walmart Downloads. I'm excited about it, becuase I can include everything from Point of Grace to George Winston for just the right Thankful mix.

Thanksgiving Journal
We also have a big beautiful red journal that we use at Thanksgiving. We record where we spent the special time and who was there. Then as we do our table tradition, we record what each person's thoughts. We have also passed the book around throughout the day and let each person write their own thoughts. What a treasure to have the great grandmas' praisings and blessings in their own handwriting!

Table Traditions
Singing is a big part of our family table traditions. We often print out the songs or readings we'll be using for whoever might be visiting. We like like to quote the creed. Sometimes we give everyone a couple kernals of Indian corn. As we go around the table, each person gives the traditional "What I'm Thankful For" for each kernal.

Inside Out Thanksgiving
I'd like to figure out some new ways to turn Thanksgiving inside out: To take our Thankfulness, add some freshness to it (by teaching our children and ourselves to focus on even deeper blessings than a clothes, food and friends) and then to turn the blessing outward to others. One way we like to do this is to include all kinds of people at our table. I've also tried to focus for several weeks on having the girls daily verbalize their blessings. And we did a fun "ring the doorbell and run" blessing for some friends. But I'm still wanting some new ideas...I'd love to hear your ideas!

Christmas Tree Night!

by sarahmfry, November 21, 2007
One of our favorite traditions is putting up the tree. We pull many tubs from their storage and get to work. We bought our ornaments on clearance after our first Christmas together and we love them more every year.

One of our favorite parts is letting each kid hang the special ornament from when the year they were born. We are also crazy about our "city" ornaments, a collection of gold skyline ornaments from the awesome cities we have visited over the years.

Hot chocolate and some kind of treat are essential parts of our evening, as well as Christmas music. One of our all-time favorites is the Angel Tree Christmas CD.

After the tree is up, we pull every blanket in the house, along with the kid's 3 matching sleeping bags, into the living room...turn off all but the Christmas lights...and sleep under the tree together.

It's an awesome tradition, but it's kindof like camping: there is a moment somewhere around bedtime when you wonder whyin the WORLD you thought this would be fun and why on EARTH you're not in your own snuggly beds.

But after that moment passed, another stronger one came when I turned around on the pallet so I could see all of the kids easier. Kayla and I ended up holding hands as we laid by the tree.

We love Christmas Tree night.

SHALLOW AND PROFOUND

by sarahmfry, November 21, 2007
I came to my devotions tonight discouraged and spiritually hungry. As usual, God used His Word and a little help from Oswald Chambers to help right my thinking and give me meat to chew on.
_____
November 21:

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

"Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow concerns of life are not ordained of God; they are as much of God as the profound. It is not your devotion to God that makes you refuse to be shallow, but your wish to impress other people with the fact that you are not shallow, which is a sure sign that you are a spiritual prig. Be careful of the production of contempt in yourself, it always comes along this line, and causes you to go about as a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than you are. Beware of posing as a profound person; God became a Baby.
To be shallow is not a sign of being wicked, nor is shallowness a sign that there are no deeps: the ocean has a shore. The shallow amenities of life, eating and drinking, walking and talking, are all ordained by God. These are the things in which Our Lord lived. He lived in them as the Son of God, and He said that "the disciple is not above his Master."
Our safeguard is in the shallow things. We have to live the surface common-sense life in a common-sense way; when the deeper things come, God gives them to us apart from the shallow concerns. Never show the deeps to anyone but God. We are so abominably serious, so desperately interested in our own characters, that we refuse to behave like Christians in the shallow concerns of life.
Determinedly take no one seriously but God, and the first person you find you have to leave severely alone as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself."

Happy Hello

by sarahmfry, November 19, 2007
Okay. You guys are going to think I have some kind of PC hypochondria or something. But we've had yet another long and painful season of no internet. I will skip the explanation other than to say that it involved a chubby little boy, a tall glass of southern tea and my beloved and deceased laptop.

But I'm back! I have my cookbook back, my radio back, my encyclopedia, dictionary, news, weather, directions, phone book, contacts and my FRIENDS!

And wonderful friends they are, I might add.

It's been a poopy diaper day, my husband is home on a Monday evening for a change, and I have a sprinkles cake to ice and a housefairy visit to make.....so I'll make this a short little happy hello post. But I have lots of fun stuff to post whenever I get the chance.

Of course, I've been talking to you all in my head all these long and lonely days without internet.

Parental Problem Solving

by sarahmfry, November 10, 2007
This parenting thing is a lot of mental work! I've been thinking recently about some of the problem-solving we've had to do. There are so many, many times in parenting when the very hardest thing is NOT having a sure solution. So I love to compare notes with other parents - to hear what works for them and what doesn't. I think that's why I love reading so much. I am inspired, challenged, encouraged and motivated to hear someone else's ideas. Here are some of ours:

Problem: Nightly arguing over who's book gets to be read first during story time (Duh - of all the things to stress over. They don't know how good they have it.) They were also fussing over who gets to get out of their carseat first. I have THREE carseats to unbuckle, and don't need the extra stress.
Ideas: We now have a different "book leader" every day. This person gets to choose the first book to be read, they get to be first to get out of their carseat, they get to choose which video, they get to choose their favorite chair. Kindof like queen for the day. Also good practice for the other kid....they get to "serve" the other person every other day.

Problem: And ungrateful, negative attitude has just crept up in one of our kids.
Ideas:Memorizing together Scriptures on gratitude. (Parenting with Scripture and Teach them Diligently have already done the work.) Focus on thankfulness (isn't it great that this problem arose in November?) Child has to say one thing they're thankful for in the morning and evening. And of course, not getting the item which was grumbled over.

Problem: A kid prone to frequent carsickness
Ideas: Never brush her off again when she says she's feeling bad in the car! The handy-dandy handled tote conatining: A complete outfit, Plenty of wipes, A "sick" bag, Bags for dirty clothes and wipes, and odor eliminator. Oh yeah - and removal of the headrest from the seat in front of her to allow a better front view.

Problem: A new scedule involving 2 parents working outside the home and a daddy doing PhD work makes it tough to have time for dates and family nights.
Ideas: A committment to alternate weeks. Date one week, family night the next. And being willing to grab whatever time we have - a quick lunch, a short walk - and make it count.


Problem: An asthma kid who ends up in the ER a lot. The medical field's answer to chronic asthma? Steriods. Her nervous system does not handle steroids well (nor does her mother!)
Ideas: Made the committment to invest in herbs. Theydon't solve all problems, but seem to boost her system enough help get her through the attacks with regular nebulizer treatments.

Problem: Kids who do not play with toys that are piled in a toybox.
Ideas: Cheap organizer bins from Walmart. One for art supplies, one for baby dolls, one for animals, one for doctor stuff. The rule is, only 2 bins out at a time. Those must be cleaned up before getting out another. Since the bins are high on shelves, random or orphaned toys are put in a larger bin to be sorted into the smaller bins later.

Problem: The constant work of training kids to clean up after themselves. I am so serious about it, I actually feel very guilty if I carry their bowl to the table for them or pick up something they've tossed aside. But it can be exhausting work. And did you know it actually makes for a temporarily MORE messy house while you're in the training process? It's tons easier to buzz through the house cleaning up all their toys, picking up their shoes than it is to try to motivate them in a positive way to do it themselves - hopefully without having to resort to discipline.

Ideas: Enter: The Housefairy. She's a good friend of my hero, the Flylady. She's also Santa Clause's sister. She flies in for a visit now and then when the kids aren't looking - leaving fairy dust behind as she checks over their room. If it is tidy, she leaves prizes. (A small toy, a quarter, a borrowed video, a "no chores" coupon, etc.) If it isn't clean, the kids know she was there because of the fairy dust (confetti sparkles) but NO PRIZE. The kids actually woke me up the other morning around 6:00 am because they were so excited that the housefairy left them a (borrowed) Strawberry Shortcake video. The kids, of course, know it's makebelieve. Just like Santa Clause - but lots of fun!

Please don't mistake this for a "Hey-baby... Look how with it I am!" attitude. Those who know and love me most can please turn the volume down on their cackling. Some of us have to work harder than others for with-it-ness. Besides, it's actually just writing down a few of the hundreds of decisions we all make every day. What are some of your solution ideas?

Siempre Familia - i

in , by sarahmfry, November 10, 2007
Scenes from family time:

Family time is something we have all grown to love. The kids beg for it. The main purpose is to spend quality time together as a family - with our full attention on one being together. Our long-term goal is to have built up strong familyties with the memories. And to have open lines of honest communication with our kids. We have found lots of wonderful resources for family nights - the absolute best being the Family Nights toolchest series by Heritage Builders. But recently, we're just happy if we can manage to have an evening with all of us together in the same room. So anything goes. Sometimes it's a well organized active devotional time. Sometimes it's just hot chocolate, a night walk and stories together.

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Some recent family nights:



*Music Night
We pull our the "music box" and everyone grabs an instrument. We have tamborines, xylophones, microphones, drums, violins....you name it. The cacophony is atrocious, but off the charts on the kid fun meter.



*Visited our good friends to see their new Labrador puppies. Then went to Grandma and Grandpa's for grilled hamburgers and games by the fire.

Pros: The puppies were adorable. It was the perfect night for a fire and games. And Kayla came awfully close to beating her grandma AND dad in Uno!

Cons: A pretty late night for the kids. Caiden's not too good at Connect 4.



*Went to the mall with Grandma and Grandpa and then went to Pizza King.
Pros: Pizza King is just awesome.

Cons: (Karissa puked on Caiden's head and all over the car). I got to clean it up - standing in the bitter cold armed with cheap wet wipes and expensive car wipes. No naps for the kids usually makes for a little more stress.


*Last night: Homeade pizza and the making of caramel apples (their first time!)


Pros: Peaceful, unhurried evening at home - perfect for a houseful of sick kids and tired parents.

Cons: The caramel was too runny at first, and the evening was muted a little when one of the kids (who is having trouble with an ungrateful attitude lately) was unhappy with the homeade pizza.

A bunch of nothing.

by sarahmfry, November 09, 2007
Aahhh...a Friday morning at home with my babies. A pot of savory split pea soup boiling on the stove, Karissa sipping hot coffee, Kayla hot lemon tea - doing crafts on the kitchen table. My Zone Work is done. The baby is sleeping. Frank Sinatra is crooning us a tune....

Sorry, those of you who are irritated by sentimentality. But our household has its share of screaming, puking, fighting and stressful days. But it's a happy morning here. So I knew I'd better sit and blog quick before the peacefulness subsides.

I've been rather silent in blogosphere for awhile...I suppose I, for once in my life, made the good choice to keep my mouth shut when I had nothing valuable to say. Don't worry, it won't happen again.

I've been busy with some organizing projects around here which were desperately needed and have made my cluttered brain lose half its weight. Plus - my digital camera has been stranded in Cincinnati. I've felt a little lost without it. But it's back - Santa Clause brought me a bag of goodies from my mom yesterday.

I got a fun project done this morning - the scripture painted on Caiden's wall. His room is moon and stars. Thus the Scripture: "The Heavens declare the glory of God."


Hmm....what else? Not a whole lot. Been working at the school, trying to manage a home, and teaching lessons. I absolutely cannot believe we're already gearing up for our winter recital. I think this has been the fastest 6 months of my entire life. Seriously. Gone in a vapor of moving and working and settling into a new life.

I feel kinda sad - I missed all of the pumpkin patches this year. The first week of November, I was finally ready. I got out my paper of fall festivals in central Indiana and they had all ended on Oct. 31 - just 3 days too late.

So yesterday I got out my trusty brain (giant fridge calender) and penciled in some winter/Christmas fun stuff that I don't want to miss. Have you ever gotten to the other side of a Christmas season and realized that you never actually settled into it? Rushed past the fluffy snowflakes and crackling fires and sparkling lights and quiet dark Christmas tree living rooms? I have. But not this year. At 1,3,and 5 our kids are at stages that you simply cannot recapture later. So I have said no to some things (HARD for me to do, but getting easier), gotten rid of some things (truckloads, to be exact), and am planning some things. I ordered some exciting stuff yesterday for our Advent Sunday celebrations. Since I'm kindof a "resource junkie" I'll share some of those ideas later.

Hee hee...after I started this post, the baby woke up, drank all of Karissa's beloved coffee, joined us in the kitchen, choked twice on apples and peanut butter and spilled an entire bottle of frosty fingernail polish on the floor. Now I hear some screamage.... I'm off to rescue him. What a boy.

Good One....

by sarahmfry, October 29, 2007

This is AWESOME!

by sarahmfry, October 29, 2007

Building Cathedrals

by sarahmfry, October 18, 2007
Thank you, Regina, for sending this. I needed it today.
"I'm invisible.... It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."


I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going... she's going ... she's gone!


One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it.


I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."


In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job!!!!!"
Now THAT'S encouraging....
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