This week it has been so painfully present with me....
I am not worthy. I am not good. I am not beautiful. I am not enough.
I am dust.
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW::
Chilly, grey, delicious
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO::
Herbie Hancock, Frank Sinatra, etc.
WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO/DREAMING OF ::
Been thinking a lot about dreaming. And some of my big dreams. And where they fit.
THANKFUL FOR ::
Schedules & Checklists!! They save my life and my sanity.
On those days when you wake up and the world is hard and dreary and weary and you can't get enough coffee...nurture yourself!
The older I get, the more I realize that it is my responsibility to nurture myself.
Most of these things can be done in 10-15 minutes or less. Even on super-busy days, when I'm so focused on my to-do list that I'm feeling a little cranky, there is time to pause for a second...Notice. Breathe. Maybe even sing.
The older I get, the more I realize that it is my responsibility to nurture myself.
Most of these things can be done in 10-15 minutes or less. Even on super-busy days, when I'm so focused on my to-do list that I'm feeling a little cranky, there is time to pause for a second...Notice. Breathe. Maybe even sing.
I love having a list ready when my kids can't figure out what to do!
Sometimes I use the list for my own reference, and sometimes I just hand them the list and it triggers their imagination.
This list is rich in links! You could even use it as a Christmas shopping ideas when the grandmas ask what your kids want for Christmas! (I don't get any kickback for any of the links.)
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW::
Still a warm fall day - but not quite as hot. My plants are still living!
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO::
Just the sound of the air conditioner and the clacking of my fingers on keys.
Along the lines of music, I've been on a John Rutter kick lately.
Along the lines of music, I've been on a John Rutter kick lately.
WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO/DREAMING OF ::
Colder weather! I love the coziness of fall.
THANKFUL FOR ::
Friends who are learning lessons alongside me! What a gift it is to be able to talk about what God is teaching me with like-minded journeyers.
Books & Stories
Audible - Great app for audiobooks that you cant find elsewhere for free. Membership is $15 per month, but you can buy the books without a membership. The membership gives you one book credit, so You only need the membership if there are books you want that are more than $15. Then you can sign up for one month, get the book, then cancel. A great secret is you can return audiobooks you don't want (not sure if this only works within membership.)
From the artwork in my dining room:
"Work like you don't need the money
Love as if you've never been hurt
Dance as if no one is watching"
It's been such a long time since I've written. If you're looking for a place to get your fresh daily blog, mine is definately not the place. But in this season of my life I'm happy with my ketchup blogging. I write when I can.
What does it mean to be authentic? I was on an out of town trip recently, and met a couple who were so authentic it almost shocked me. I liked them almost instantly, and knew very quickly that it would be very easy to become close to them. They weren't telling deep dark family secrets or delving into the gory details of their struggles. But there was a realness in their interactions, an un-forced nature about their whole selves. Yet they carried authority. Their words carried authority because they seemed to be coming from a life lived sincerely. In the short couple of hours I interacted with them, I noticed several things:
I sit here mesmerized, baby on lap, watching Heifetz play a Bach Chaconne.
What a combination – the power of Bach played by an all-time master. The idea pressing itself into my mind as I listen… is control.
Every note – every nuance – is perfectly balanced. The double stops punctuate, the spicatto bowing passages are crisp, brilliant and effortless. Yet the melody is the most powerful – always rising and soaring to the top in spite of the technical gymnastics being articulated.
I really love being a housewife. I enjoy taking care of the things my family needs, going through my morning routine – getting things in order.
Today as I ironed, I was praying over my husband’s shirts. (Not because I’m super spiritual. I haven’t remembered to do this for…well, maybe never. But I’ve heard of praying over laundry and I think it’s a great idea). So..I started cracking up because I prayed something like…”Lord, help David to be smart and successful when he wears this shirt.” Duh. I guess it doesn’t take much faith to pray that prayer. Anyone who knows him very well knows he is incredibly smart and extremely with it. Maybe I should pray…”Lord, help my husband to buy me expensive flowers and write me a long mushy letter when he wears this shirt.” Now THAT would be a prayer of faith.
Anyway….As I ironed one of Kayla’s uniform jumpers I got to the pleats in the front. How appropriate that some call them kick pleats. “Lord…PLEASE help her to stop kicking things at school!”
City
by kayla fry
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| Photo by Molly Porter |
She loved the city. She loved the burning in her legs as she
rushed down the street. She loved the way her scarf never stayed where she tied
it. She loved the buildings leaning in around her. She loved the lights of a
million cars zipping past her and a million windows without curtains letting
the cold office lights shine out into the even colder darkness. She loved the
way each light made a dozen more shadows. She loved the wind that stopped her
breath. She loved the screaming, wheezing, shouting, screeching, deafening
noise that never stopped, never for a second. She loved the feeling of others’
shoulders pushing and suffocating and moving against her and never stopped,
never for a second. She loved the feeling of not being able to speak, to think,
to breathe, to do anything other than move and never stop, never for a second. She
loved the city, the city that rushed and stayed and leaned and shone and
shadowed and stayed and screamed and wheezed and shouted and screeched and
deafened and pushed and suffocated and moved and spoke and thought and breathed
and moved more, the city that loved, and never stopped, never for a second.
.
.
.
Written at BCWC by Kayla Fry. 10.7.17
