I am listening to:   Nurturing Competent Commuicators. from the Institute for Excellence in Writing.  (You have to quickly create a username in order to listen.)  Interesting comments about the free audio download session here

(Corin as a newborn in Daddy's hands)

Horseback riding a few years ago - Labor Day church picnic at the Wilhelm Farm.

(First day of school August 2012 * Kayla, 5th grade * Karissa, 3rd grade * Caiden, 1st grade)

 



 

Well..tomorrow is the first full day of the 2012/13 school year.  It's been awhile since I've got this whole crew up at 6:30 am and pressed and combed and fed and out the door by 7:30.

School clothes are ironed - socks and shoes and undies laid out.  Breakfast is on the table.  Five lunchboxes are sitting out in a row - lunches made (Corin stays home but he doesn't like to be left out.)  My schedule is typed out in time slots, with my 3 MIP's (most important tasks) identified for the day.  The kids got to bed bed before 9 and are sleeping soundly.

I think I'm ready to take on the day tomorrow.  But still...I feel like crying.  And....nervous?  Why in the world do I feel nervous.  What's scary about laundry and cleaning and paying bills and cooking meals and running errands? 

I'm pretty sure I'm scared that I won't accomplish what I need to tomorrow.  That I will fail.  (Again) I think my schedule for tomorrow is practical (with  margin built in and daily tasks accounted for).  But still daunting.  I know that one undisciplined stint on the computer will make it impossible to get the day's list done.  I know that if I'm nauseous and gaggy (or just plain pregnant) in the morning there's not time to slow down and let it pass...I'll have to push on through.  I know that even if I work constantly and a miracle happens and I keep that stupid schedule perfectly - it still won't all be done tomorrow night.  There will still be areas of little-house/big family-chaos that I'm trying to tame and lego to be picked up and little people with attitude problems.  And tomorrow night I'll need to iron uniforms and pack lunches again.  I'm not complaining - just emptying my mommy brain out loud and letting you listen in.

In short, I guess I feel overwhelmed with tomorrow already.  Kinda dumb, huh? Talk about a waste of energy.

The only good thing about it is it makes my spirit cry out in silent prayer as I buzz around trying to pre-empt any morning chaos.  "Abba - Please just help me to be what you want of me!"

I know I won't keep that schedule perfectly or be completely disciplined tomorrow.  I know that I'm already behind cuz this body needs 9 hours of sleep and I'm already a bit past the necessary bedtime for 8 hours.

But I'm reminded of one of the most wonderful thoughts...I will never have more to do in a day than what Abba wants me to do in that day.  He won't ask of me any more than I can do.

I'm very happy that my kids love school.    I"m very happy for the first week of this year's routine.  I'm done dumping my brain and I'm going to bed, praying that God will order my minutes and hours tomorrow.   And reminding myself to drink my water, take my vitamins, and choose joy.

'Night, all.

We love to sit around the supper table and talk.  It's a tradition I remember so well in my family.  My mom once said that she felt like her own childhood experiences of sitting around the table talking played  a big role in the development of her and her siblings. I feel the same way. One of my dearest childhood memories is sitting around our tiny round clawfoot table, eating stir fry and drinking hot tea to lamplight, with my siblings and I talking up a storm while mom and dad sat with quiet smiles and listened.  Good stuff!

Mom and Dad - great listeners!

So when David was browsing a board game store in downtown Chicago and found the "Table Topics" game, we knew this was a "game" that fit our family and we might just had to have it someday.  Sometime later, before a vacation with a lot of driving,  I bought it for David and our family. 


We love it.  We got the family version, but there are lots of versions:  Couples, Road Trip, Family Gathering, Original... Some of the questions are light and fun, others are deeper and more serious.  But our kids love it and beg to pull down the box and start asking questions. 

Some examples of questions:
"If you could volunteer your time to help one charity, which one would you choose?"
"When you receive two invitations at the same time how do you decide which one to accept?"
"What's the first thing you would do if you were president?"
"In what ways are you generous?"
"When was it most difficult to persevere when you wanted to quit."

Corin's responses are hilarious.  He's three.  Yesterday one question was...."What is your favorite family tradition?"   He answered, without hesitation..."Playing trains in bed."  We cracked up. We play trains in bed so often as a family.  We love it when it's his turn to answer.  He answers quickly and confidently.  And his answers are just bonkers.


Of course, it is possible to have great table conversation without this little box of cards.  But it does help us to take our conversation to new places.  And it keeps the kids involved.  We have found that often when we sit down to eat supper, David and I are tempted to talk adult talk and catch up on each other's days.  Which is okay - it's good for kids to learn to sit quietly while adults talk.  But we want to be sure to keep the kids included in our table talk, too.  In fact, I think it's incredibly important.  They learn to express themselves verbally (come to think of it, maybe we should switch to the quiet game!).  They learn to take turns (well...they're learning!). They learn that what they say matters (many times kids find or lose their "voice" at a very early age.)  And it is a sort of family glue (there are so many studies that prove it.)

Getting ready for a family dinner at Garen & Crystal's

We don't always pull down the Table Topics box and do a few questions, but like I said - the kids love it and beg for it.

We are only accepting engagements & weddings these days, and only even a few of those.  Sometimes simplifying life means saying no to things you love.   But here are several sneak peeks from our summer events.  (The baby made it in here cuz he's my nephew!)  We have a wedding coming up in September and one in October and that's all I think we'll be taking for the rest of this year.  After that, who knows. 

I really, really miss blogging!  I quit blogging for quite awhile for several reasons.  Some of them I am still pondering, but I really do miss it.  I have this horrible infirmity of wanting to "catch up" on things.  But there is absolutely no way I can catch up. So I'm just going to jump in and blog when I feel like it.  Thought a daybook would be a way to cover some ground.

Absolutely gorgeous day.  This weather is like happy juice to the bones.  I am looking at my awesome,  (clearance buy) solar paper lanterns hanging on my gazebo.

A chorus of those wonderful cricket-sounding creatures in the trees outside.  I would have to ask my friend Carrie exactly what creeping creature I am hearing.



::I am Thankful For::
An OB doc who I love.  Wonderful visit today, we talked about shoes and her schedule and me going back to school and she asked me about teaching her twins piano.   And most of all?  She's very supportive and encouraging, but lets me labor and deliver the way I want/need to!  No pressure to do things the "hospital" way (within reason, of course).   She stayed out of my way and let me do my thing.  Knowing I have her gives me courage for this next delivery.  I've had docs who weren't so great.  One of them I had to almost yell at as he ran out the door if I had a question at a checkup.  Another got aggravated at me cuz I dared deliver my baby before he could wake up from his nap.  I feel myself climbing upon a soapbox, so I will gracefully step down and just say I'm very thankful for Dr. Sara Stephenson at Creekside OB/Gyn!

The balance of sharing realness and maintaining the safety of privacy.

We are enjoying a free month trial on AdaptedMind.  The kids have been in the mood to get back to learning, and this is a fun way to brush up and get the math brain juices flowing!  They love earning badges. I'm not sure what is possessing them to want to do math the last week of summer, but I'll humor their weirdness.   I just have to remember to cancel before I get charged next month.  If we were homeschooling, we might consider the $10 per month, but we're not.  I am thinking this might be a great tool if they ever have to transition from ACE to ABeka math.


::Towards Rhythm and Beauty::
Dishes and laundry are really the key to my home-keeping world.  It's an amazingly simple, but constant fact.

::To Live the Life ::
Ready to find a new Bible Study or devotional book.  I like Beth Moore, but to be honest I usually don't get through the 45-minute sessions so one study stretches out so long it seems to lose some of its continuity for me.  Maybe I should try one again before my brain turns to post-partum mush again.

 ::I am Hoping and Praying::
ha!  What garden? My black thumb reigneth.  Our Bonsai tree from our Spring Break trip to Florida (affectionately named "Flora")  is still alive and kicking in the kitchen window, though.  David has started clipping and shaping her, so she's a bit lopsided, with a definite Bonsai flair.

 ::One of My Favorite Things::
How wonderful it feels to get the kids to bed early.  That feeling of life settling itself back into the routine of Steady Days.  That's two things.  I have lots more. : )  You should be proud of me for stopping at two.


::The Kids::

Kayla:  Turned 10 this summer.  She is literally growing up before my very eyes.  She is quiet, happy, introverted.  I am learning that her quietness does not mean something is wrong.  She got new glasses today.  It is absolutely freaking me out that she is the same age I was when the drama hit:  boys, emotions, all of it.   But she's like her daddy.  She takes most of life rather calmly.  Except for her 6-year-old brother.  He has the distinct honor and privilege of being the one thing in the universe that can send her COMPLETELY over the edge!

Karissa:  Turned 8 this summer.  I am SO looking forward to her help with this new baby.  She is incredibly nurturing and is still quite a little homemaker.  She's going through a challenging time for a bit here.  Or maybe I should say she's putting ME through a tough time!  She has an incredible exuberance (lives up to her name "Gift of Joy") but that intensity also manifests itself in the negative spectrum, too.  I won't share the gory details, but she is helping me with  my prayer life. I'll just say that.  Jesus help us.

Caiden.  Turned 6 this summer.  He has a new hilarious/embarrassing habit. When he meets strangers who ask him how old he is, he says, in a flash without even a breath.  "I'm six and I can snorkel!"  Or "I'm six and I'm reading Tom Swift!"  Right now he is scarfing down frozen waffles and he told me, "You're the best mom in the universe!  And trust me on that."   Never quite sure if I should laugh or cry at his constant verbal antics.  He wants to be an army guy or a missionary.  We've talked about the possibility of him being both at the same time.  The army/air force (he can't decide which yet) won't know what hit it.

Corin:  Turned 3 this summer and won't let me call him my baby anymore.  He also insists on wearing sleeves that hit him directly at the wrist and having his shirt tucked in, no matter how nerdy he may look.  He really seems to be understanding about the new baby.  He loves on it and kisses my tummy.  He was looking forward to the ultrasound today, to see "pictures" of our baby.  But when he saw the ultrasound, he was most definitely NOT impressed.  Admittedly, even the 4D was not very good and the baby still looks rather "skeletal" as the tech put it.  Corin scowled, scrunched up half of his face (you have to see him do it to understand the cuteness) and said...."I want a DIFFERENT one!"  In other news, he finally weaned rather easily off his passie this summer (when we lost the last one), and then one day he tossed his favorite blankie off the bed and said, "I don't need that.  I'm a big boy."  End of blankie, end of passie.  I'm sad but relieved. : )
Today:  Ultrasound, Dr. visit, Pick up Kayla's glasses, & downsizing the girls' room
Wed:  A massive desk-catch-up day, Kids Klub & We Care
Thurs:  Downsizing in the boys' room,  PTF meeting, 
Fri:  Kids' first day of school


:: Love this Quote! ::

The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn't simple.  ~Doris Janzen Longacre

So true.  I have been on quite a journey of simplicity, and I will say that it takes some tough determination and steady commitment!


:: A Picture from our world::

I am itching to add more pics.  Pictures make everything more fun.  But I keep forgetting to switch our camera setting from RAW mode when I take normal daily pictures, and I am not in the mood to open Photoshop to convert pictures right now.  I'd rather do laundry. : )  Here's a jpeg I found from earlier in the summer.

I'm an aunt!  Aunt Sarah.  I think I like the sound of that.  This is Karissa holding her new cousin - Joaquin Xavier Biddle.  We're pretty crazy about him.  His Parents:  David's older sister Tami and husband Davin.

Well, I'm officially pregnant.  Know how I know?  I tried to put my cell phone away in the fridge.  That's the first official sign.  Er - well - maybe the second. 

And I then stopped myself from putting the eggs away in the freezer.  Plus there's the whole nausea and dry heaving and exhaustion and bathroom visits and general pervading worthlessnes.  And preparing myself some garlic fish for lunch today, then after smelling it my body decides it needs a taco salad instead.  Gotta love it.

I am so very glad it is summertime for my kids.  They are already doing awesome summery things like making tents on the exercise equipment, riding bikes, baking yummy goodness, reading lots of books, and spending hours climbing out in the yard.  I love that our yard is a gathering place for neighbor kids and church friends. 

A happy water fight at Grandma Fry's house

My first ob appointment is Friday, and I am so anxious to catch a glimpse of that little blinking light on the ultrasound screen.  I love to hear the heartbeat, but seeing the heart pulsing like a tiny light makes it real for me....and makes all the hanging-over-the-toilet feelings worth it.

An 8-week "Baby Booger"

Caiden has been faithfully and fervently praying for twins, the little stinker.   I seriously cannot even imagine where this body of mine would put 2 babies.  It's ridiculous enough with one - by month nine I am 4'10" x 4'10"!  Hopefully Friday's appointment will give us a head count of how many grape-sized alien/seahorses we are dealing with here.    (The kids are having fun following the development charts of the baby-which-looks-like-an-alien-seahorse.) We recently visited the Science and Industry Museum in Chicago. They have the most amazing exibit of real embryos and fetuses at each stage of development.  It. Is. Incredible.  And such an awesome visual for our kids.  At the time we went, "Baby Booger" was still a secret, so we had fun going through the exhibit as a family and watching how our secret booger was developing.  We named baby Fry #5 "Baby Booger" because - well - it was exactly the size of a booger at the time.  Caiden (5) doesn't like that at all, and doesn't think it sounds nice.  He thinks we should call it "Sibling."  Love that sensitive boy.  He's bonkers.

My sensitive tough-guy

In other baby news, we have a new litter of gorgeous golden retriever puppies (from our red female, Maggie). 


They are growing like crazy. We are expecting their eyes to open soon. The kids love to bring the puppies upstairs and make little houses for them in the living room. Until the pooping starts, then mommy banishes them back down to the basement. Caiden thinks the fat one poops more. Perhaps.

Corin (2) spends so much time with the puppies.  He will go down to the basement and just sit quietly in the dark with Maggie and the puppies.

Corin outside with the 1-day-old puppies

I've always been sortof a sappy soul (don't laugh, good-friends-who've known-me-since-high school). But when I'm pregnant - well.  It can be epic.

source

I'm actually not really crying about a lot (I'm too busy sleeping and feeling like puking), but I did sorta shed some tears when I went through Caiden's final homework folder from kindergarten. And I'm just crazy about the way Corin's hair is sticking up and flopping in the back after his nap. And my friend who understands first trimesters is bringing us dinner tonight and I am just ridiculously happy about it.

I'd better clear the groceries and laundry detergent ingredients and dishes off the table and make room for that Tollhouse pie she's bringing!!

Baby #5 is on the way!  Due around Jan 1.  Happy excitement here, and not too much sickness yet.  Yay.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above...."

I love the Femina blog.  It is written by a team of daughters & mother.  This gently insightful post was written by the mother (one daughter is the author of "Loving the Little Years.")

I confess I am guilty of "feeling guilty" about random, everyday non-sinful stuff.  This article helped me to think more clearly and be more careful of the terms I use.  I also think her insight into our reactions to one another is very helpful.  There is such freedom in being able to rejoice in the gifts of our sisters without comparing ourselves among ourselves.  I recently heard Dr. Alan Brown preach about this again.  If we admit that we compare ourselves with others, if can sound prideful.  But he made the point that when we compare we often come up feeling bad about ourselves, not good.

It is liberating to be free of comparison & false guilt, but it is not always easy.  And it is not necessarily something that you just conquer and then don't ever have to deal with again.  It is a renewing of the mind that is ongoing.   I have to be restful & satisfied in God while at the same time always seeking to "come further up, come further in!"  (C.S. Lewis, the Last Battle)

So many times I need God to nudge me towards His heart and remind me that I can be content and satisfied in who He is making me.  It doesn't really matter what everyone else can do, or even what they expect of me (ouch on that expectations one).  What matters is that I walk in the Light every day.   And grace.  Learning the broad, powerful truth about grace has been quite a journey for me. But oh, what a sweet comfort to know that His grace holds me as he grows me.  No longer does my salvation depend on my perfect performance.  It depends only on Him.  By grace.  Through faith.


Sometimes just a simple shift in focus can help to quiet a lot of "guilty feelings."  I have to purposefully review the priorities that are important to me.  I have to refocus on what God has called me to.  I have to rejoice in how He is growing me up.  And trust Him to handle my sisters the same way.