It's almost over...and only just begun

by sarahmfry, April 26, 2007
Today my brilliant and mystifying husband defends his thesis.

To me, it's a big step. One of the last landmarks before putting the final touches on his work and walking down the aisle in a ridiculous black hat.

But David? Cool as a cucumber. Calm as a mountain lake. Happily and noisily crunching away at his sugared cereal as if he isn't hours away from being hammered with technical theological questions.

He handles constructive criticism unspeakably more maturely than I. Looking at the red-scrawled comments of a mentor on the thick pages representing months (years!) of work and writing....he is able to focus on the compliments and fix the criticisms. It's that simple! I, on the other hand, would have to spend an exhausting amount of energy trying to tell myself that I'm not a total failure and complete idiot for having room for improvement in my work.

Anyway....he's amazing. And today is the last big step. I'm excited. But around the corner lies a monster we have yet to face. I fear we're stepping from preschool into Harvard. I don't doubt for one moment David's ability to rise to the challenges of a PhD with poise and calm. I do, however, sometimes doubt my own ability to hold body and mind and household and budget together as a "seminary widow." (I think you have to experience that term to fully understand it.)

But I'm excited. And a little jealous.

Why is it, though, that the hats get more ridiculous as the degrees progress? Another mystery.

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