Have you ever met that woman who tries to hold everything in place - and has a tendency to make other women feel her disapproval? She grew up with an alcoholic father 

Have you met the one who works her tail off all the time, and says yes too much and no too much, then can't figure out why she's worn out and a little cranky?  her husband is a workaholic

Joan's husband functions on a very cerebral level, and even after years of trying to understand one another, he does not give her even the most basic affection. 

Mary's husband has wandering eyes and will make little comments about how attractive other women are

Katherine's husband has a temper and randomly raises his voice in anger and frustration at her and the kids

Nina will never give her opinion about anything, and she just sits quietly in the corner when she is in a group.  Her husband is moody and will walk around the house in silent somberness for 3 days at a time if there is any conflict that makes him feel threatened.

Donna's husband has unrealistically high expectations, and shows his disapproval in various ways if the house is not clean enough or things are not just as he wants them


Don't get nervous - This is a mixed up list of hypothetical marriages.  They aren't real.

But they are real.  You've met them and I have met them.  We have been them.

I want to get hold of the shoulders of my 4 boys and look them in the eye and tell them what an incredibly responsibility it is to be a husband. 

But sisters - we have to put on our big-girl bloomers and realize that we made one huge mistake when we got married.  We married humans.  These men who stole our hearts and won our hands are godly and brilliant and funny and handsome and sexy and tender and strong.  But they are not perfect.  Some of them are running from God - but even those who are fully surrendered Christians still bear the marks of sin and are growing up in Christ into the men they should be. 

It is painful when they aren't what we want.

But we have a responsibility to not make gods of them.

We want them to take the place of God, really.  To fill that longing in our souls. To gaze deeply into our eyes and know us as no one else. To see our faults through  grace and forgiveness and treat us as if we were wearing royal robes even when we have bed hair and dirty t-shirts.

So sometimes we fight against it over and over - for years, even - this need for our husbands to be what we need.  When all the time, God is waiting to fill up that hole with Himself.





photo creds:  Karissa Fry