It's time for me to check in and update. But it feels a little overwhelming. My brain automatically starts spinning, feeling like I need to catch up on everything and post about the holidays and Christian's birth and his first 2 weeks and how much do I tell and maybe I should just do a daybook or pictures and.....
So I'll just write a bit that comes to mind. And when I'm done...maybe I'll post it, maybe I won't.
One thought that is very prevalent to me at the start of this new year is that I am very much wanting to just be busy living life in the personal, specific way God calls me to live it. I think it is so much easier to be focused and content when I am closed in, puttering around in my world doing my routines and brainstorming solutions and loving my family and keeping home the way I keep it. Adding only the extras that He calls me to add. It is so easy to get concerned about everyone and everything else, and maybe solving problems that are not mine to solve. And spending mental energies that needn't be wasted on things that don't pertain to the work of this home to which God has called me. Just reminding myself. And reiterating that those thoughts, plus more, often keep me from blogging.
Baby Christian is 2 weeks and 2 days old. He is wonderful. Amazing. Kissably sweet. And it feels like it takes FOREVER to feed him. I'll spare you the exhausting details. But I was immensely encouraged when I recently read something from a mother who just had her 7th baby. She talked about how every baby brings about its own individual type of recovery and adjustment time. And that she had 3 priorities: Nurse. Sleep. Establish Routines.
Why is it so profoundly encouraging to be reminded that we are not alone?
It is easy to think that having more babies makes it easier to have babies. Mothers of many just chuckle. True, there are tricks and tools of the trade that you pick up along the way. And the confidence of experience can help too. But baby #5 did not just "walk out" as some would suggest. (This was in some ways the most difficult delivery so far.....after a mentally exhausting 36 hour early labor, my body careened from 2cm to delivery in 3.5 hrs. Prayed for a fast delivery. Got it. Maybe I won't pray for that next time. : ) And I did not just jump up from the hospital bed and rush out to conquer the world with baby tied to my back. Returning to full function takes time for me.
One thing I am enjoying in my older (wiser?) self is the permission to hold my baby as much as I very well please.....comments of "spoiling" and "self-soothing" taken in stride, knowing that I have my own ways and I like them. : )
As I have walked the floors with baby these last couple of weeks, Abba has been busy with me, digging around in my heart and head. Reminding me that really, all there is for me this year...is to be found in Him. Completely His, whatever comes. His in obedience and in my perspectives and attitudes and actions.
David and I have never really chosen a verse or word for a year. I tend to think that if I choose a word, life will probably turn a corner on me and I'll need a different word entirely by March. And everyone knows I could never limit myself to one word, anyway. : ) But we have agreed that this Word is for us, right now. For many reasons. It has been part of our memory work for quite awhile, but it seems each time we recite it it gets more powerful and pertinent to us:
I Peter 5:6-8
6Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Each of the 3 verses has a specific meaning for us, for exactly where we are.
His Word is sharp and powerful and comforting. It is our safety, our security, our guidance and our identity. It hides us and guides us and protects us from ourselves. I am hungry for more.
I didn't even begin to get my brain emptied. But that's a start.