Yesterday could have been considered a collossal failure.  It could have ended in a tearful, discouraged heap.  But for some strange reason, I had the gift of perspective.  That small, warm smile inside that knows at least some small, good thing happened around here.  (I'm pretty sure the difference between the small, happy feeling inside and a crying heap of pregnant tears....was the NAP I took!)

After a really difficult night of insomnia and 3-year-old issues, I was rather draggy yesterday morning.  Think beached-pregnant-sea-cow and you may have the general idea.  When I put Corin down for his nap, I took my sea-cow self to bed with him and slept - really slept.  I woke up in time to drive to the next town for my baby-belly appointment, and the rest of the day was much...MUCH better!  But even after my revived efficiency, by the end of the day there were many, many things left undone. 

So at the end of the day as I stood at my sink washing dishes for the fiftieth time, I looked back over the day and felt like it had been a strange success.  I chose to not be flustered when the kids and husband arrived home before I had everything done. I fixed them hot tea and a plate of crackers/cheese/apples and listened to their chatter and pretended I had it together.

By the time homework, afternoon kid chores, extra dishes and whoever-knows-what-else was caught up,  I didn't even start fixing supper until about 6:00.   And with dread I realized the kids' practicing had only just begun ere the day was most done!  But we had a simple pasta supper and sat around and sang and laughed. 

Then, just as we finished the supper chores together (which also gives me a little happy smile inside), we discovered that it was SNOWING!  Really snowing and sticking!

We went outside and squealed awhile, then I let the kids bundle up and play in the snow in the dark.

Then - slightly later than practical - I brought them back inside for hot chocolate and our favorite "tea biscuits" from Aldis.  We had family devotions in the kitchen instead of the living room and had a good time of conversational catechism before scootching everyone off to bed.

 There were still a few dirty dishes in the sink.  There were dishes to rinse and more clean dishes to put away.  The floor hadn't been swept properly all day.  There were still 2 suitcases to finish emptying and put away from the Thanksgiving weekend.  There was a basket of clean laundry to be folded.  I didn't do my zone work.  I didn't do my daily work from my weekly plan (Monday is Desk Day).  I didn't have my grocery list made for tomorrow's errands day. I didn't finish cleaning out the fridge before refilling it with Tuesday groceries.  I didn't do any extra projects in my nesting-before-baby preparation.  The living room floor wasn't even picked up - and that only takes 5 minutes!)  The gloves were still dumped by the front door from the mad, excited rush to get outside in the dark and make the first snowballs of the season.  There was plenty undone.

I was tempted to review the day and feel that all I had accomplished - all day - was making lunches, taking a nap, going to an OB appointment, making a meal and washing a million dishes.  On weaker days there would surely have been a few tears dripping in the dishwater. 

But I was strangely, quietly happy.  Content and thankful that I was able to somewhat overlook my failures that day enough to focus on what mattered.....being relaxed around the table, singing in harmony (or something similar) with my kids, taking advantage of the snow magic.  Taking time to sit in front of the aquarium with my husband and some cups of hot tea. 

At the end of the day, they weren't worried about my horrendous list of "things NOT done." They probably had no clue what a failure I'd been that day.

If only perspective were always present.  I confess it is not.  Many days I choose to focus on what I didn't get done rather than what I did.  But I enjoyed the strange nap-induced contentment.  Perhaps I should schedule a nap every day...yes?

First season snowballs - gift from 3-yr-old, now preserved in freezer. : )


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