He fills the longing soul with good things. Ps. 107:9


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Apology 101

I sometimes feel like extended periods of time with all of us home together sort of brings bad behavior to the surface so it can be dealt with.   In short, they HAVE to learn to live together in love-ish-ness.  Or at least with as little bodily injury as possible.  Last night,  one kid offended another kid and (at my firm urging) gave one of those lovely "I'm SORRY but I'm not sorry!" apologies.  

So we took some time and talked about apologies at familytime.  What should you do if mommy or daddy tells you to apologize and you don't really feel sorry?....What is the correct way to make an apology?.....How should we respond to an apology?   And we practiced.   We made up pretend offences and took turns making and accepting apologies.  They actually had fun and giggled a lot.  

"Mommy, I'm sorry for dropping your ipod in the toilet. Would you please forgive me?"
(secretly groaning & hoping it never comes true but knowing it's a definite possibility in this house....could I forgive for real?)  "Yes, I forgive you"

So....in our family, there are 3 parts to a good apology.  
1.  say I'm sorry with a good attitude (face & voice)
2.  say what I'm sorry for
3.  ask for forgiveness

And of course, the other party should accept the apology and take a peek at their own heart and actions to see their own selves in the matter....

(It's actually a good idea for marriage too!)

By this time - I wasn't even pointing the camera in the right direction.
I was probably saying..."Sit up and SMILE at me or I'm gonna pop your bottoms! Makes me feel stressed just thinking about it."

Photos:  Valentine Kids last year - 2010 (THIS is why I never take "official" pictures of my kids!)
Leah said...

Sarah - first of all let me tell you that I love reading your blog! Secondly, I can so remember those times in my house when my kids were little! At one point I got so frustrated that I made the offending parties sit on the couch and hold hands until I calmed my own self down!! But - I always tried to tell my kids that being sincere with those closest to you made it easier to have a sincere relationship with God!

Liz said...

I just started a 4th step at this house - "Now hug each other till you're laughing." :>)

Andy said...

all the different expressions in the pictures totally cracked me up

Charity said...

Ah! Life lessons in miniature! Love it! BTW, the first time Nathan braved taking the kids out by himself (during my Pampered Chef open house), he dropped his ipod into the McDonald's toilet. Sadness :o( Six months later, he discovered he had bought a policy against such things, and Amazon kindly reimbursed him. We find spill policies to be a must around here. ;o) (And my privacy word to type is guthirte??!!??) Whatever.

Rob and Deanna said...

Love your XOXO pics, Sarah! These are MUCH better than "perfectly" posed pictures, because it shows their little(or rather "big":-) personalities. Love the crying one. I do something similar to Liz too, Make them hug until I can "feel the love". Usually ends up with them laughing. :-)

Juwah said...

Those pictures were so worth the stress...well they were for me anyway...so precious. :)

Saying, "Will you forgive me?" places one in a position of humility. You are wise to add that to the traditional, "I'm sorry." I always thought..."I'm sorry...I got caught" Not much of heart repentance there. :)

sarahmfry said...

Yes, Julia - We also like the "Will you forgive me" part because it puts responsibility on both parties. It acknowledges that there are two parties involved and both the offender and the offendee have responsibility in the matter.

Deanna and Liz.....
I love the hug till I feel the love thing. I just have to threaten them with loving on each other and they snap into shape with cries of mortification and little grins. : )

Making Memories 1999 said...

LOVE, LOVE the XOXO pictures! So creative and precious!!

Lisa Messner said...

Sarah, Love, Love, Love your blog! You are such a delight to read! Love these adorable pictures of your sweet babies too!! We've always made our boys say "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?" through the years, but I found a new one this year as I was teaching my Kindergarteners Bible one week. I've since been trying to teach them to say "I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" Getting them to acknowledge that what they did was wrong....and of course having the injured party say "I forgive you"... :o) You're doing a great job by the way!!

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