What God Sees

by sarahmfry, November 08, 2010
After last night's revival service Kayla, Karissa and I practiced our simple violin/cello trio for another night.  A sweet little guy (who I believe has Downs Syndrome) wanted to hold Karissa's tiny violin in the worst way.  They tell me he had actually gotten hold of it back in the nursery earlier, but he had been cautioned by others and was now crying quietly as he sat in the second pew and watched us put away our instruments.  

His little heart wanted that violin so badly.  I couldn't stand it.  So we gave him a chance to play.  The smile on his beautiful face was spectacular.  He played his little heart out and then continued beaming as we clapped for him and put the violin away.  It was really a treat for me to see.  I never have understood this unbelievably vulnerable place in my heart for Downs kids. 

 And God whispered to me about it this morning as I remembered the simple, overflowing joy it gave me to see him smile.  I cry even now.  He reminded me that this boy has no spectacular gifts or grades or accomplishments to bring to Him.  But His joy in him is great and pure and everlasting.  And just as I want to scoop up that boy and squeeze him and his smile is stamped in my memory, God's joy in me is not based on what I have to offer or how well I do.

I pretty much had an "off" night at the piano last night (not that I'm usually particularly "on" but it was worse than usual).  I want so badly to communicate God's beauty and joy and strength through music and when my weakness and failure gets in the way it is just so frustrating. God deserves better than my distracted fumbles. But He reminded me through that precious boy that there is such a leveling ground when we find ourselves in his love and mercy.  Our "stuff" falls away.  And all that is left is our heart and our smile towards Him.  And He finds great delight in me.  

And THAT is wow.  

I thank Him for that boy.


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