He fills the longing soul with good things. Ps. 107:9


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I. Am. So. Embarrassed.

Tonight after family prayer - as I finished tucking in Caiden and Kayla - I heard Daddy and Karissa talking on the living room floor.

She was asking the next level of questions about how babies happen and he was very clearly and aptly answering her questions. I imagine the curiosity arose because of our new baby and all....) I think I've mentioned on here before that we have a pretty aggressive philosophy about sex-ed and kids. We want them to learn everything they know from US FIRST! Not from their 3rd-grade friends. But as he tried to answer each question clearly and at a 4-year-old level, she asked the next question and left no option but to answer her honestly.

I found myself blushing and running to the kitchen to "do some work."

Meanwhile, Kayla was laying in bed and heard the conversation through the door. So now she's asking questions. David came in and we had a quick laugh before he regained his composure, reminded himself of the utmost importance of this timing. That it will shape their thinking for the rest of their lives about an immensely important and wonderful subject. I buried my face in the fridge and groaned, "I don't WANT them to know!" We both agreed that being in there for the "talk" together would NOT help us to keep our composure and complete the conversation with a straight face.

I had no idea I was such a chicken. I sent him off with a "I'll pray for you" and "I'm proud of you" and continued to hide in the kitchen as he set off to answer their questions.

Regardless of what you think about the timing of sex ed......when they're 10? 12? 14? And the method....Hand them a book? Let their friends do it? Leave it to their imaginations? Let them learn on their honeymoon? We have decided that answering the questions honestly, clearly and appropriately as they come is the right way for our family. My husband had a professor that suggested setting yourself up to your kids as the "sex expert." And any future questions should be brought to the expert, not to ignorant friends or other people. Sounded like a plan to us.

I wish I could tell you the details of her questions. It's an absolute hoot. But I'll behave myself.

I just want to say that I have an immense respect for those of you who have "informed" a kid of 8 years or older. If it's this embarrassing at 4 and 6, I can't even imagine what courage it takes to tell an older child.

Excuse me....I need to go finish blushing.

My husband is a very, very brave man. I'm so glad he gets to be the expert and not me.
Liz said...

We've brushed the topic, but one day it will break open . . . and since we share your philosophy that's a little scary. :>) Take notes and e-mail them to me! Ha ha!

tacomom said...

Blushing indeed...try being pregnant with an 8, 11 and 13 yr old in the house :)

Carrie said...

Brennan started asking at 4--well after I'd had a baby. Jared has never asked. Some kids just want to know!

We bought the God's Design for Sex series and sat down and read the age-appropriate ones to the boys (separately, I might add).

My favorite book of all?? Kevin Leman's "A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey to your Child about Sex." Great book, awesome book.

So, since Brennan has been asking for so long, we've been feeding him age-appropriate tidbits for the past 6 years. Unfortunately, the time is drawing very nigh to giving him the whole she-bang. Shiver. Dr. Leman is a big believer in the opposite parent doing the "talk." I can't say I'm looking forward to it. :o

~Regina~ said...

Congratulations on another boy! I like the name you chose for him.

My 2 older boys started asking questions at the age of 4 and 6, when I was pregnant with my 3rd. I very calmly answered each question with as much detail as they were asking for. The questions continued for several days until their curiosity on the subject had been satisfied. In fact, they never even asked anything when I was pregnant with my 4th. Other parents were in shock at what I was telling my kids, but I felt it was the right amount of info at the right time. I want my kids to be able to come to me when they have questions about that kind of stuff instead of finding out from friends. I remember myself as a child finding out some very incorrect info from friends about that subject. I don't want that happening to my kids. It's a little embarrassing and difficult talking about such stuff to kids, but so far I have survived! :) We haven't quite covered EVERYTHING yet and I can't say that I am looking forward to that day. :(

By the way, I enjoyed the pictures of your day at the beach! Looked like a fun day for you all.

Jenna Dewhurst said...

lol I'm gonna be the biggest chicken of all! My poor mom...I remember when I was ten my sisters and her must've been having a "conversation" when I overheard and was utterly shocked! lol I was like uhh what!? The remaining conversation was pretty tramatizing for everyone involved! Lol I remember running out of the living room crying "that's evil!!!" Hmmm...and it really wasn't that indepth...LOL

Janiece said...

So glad we are not the only parents who think it is SO VERY important that "the talk" comes from us and NOT their friends, ugh! We have a HUGE responsibilty to make sure this kind of info is correct and that it comes from us first!!! I am VERY thankful that my dear hubby has done most of "the talking" with our boys, but I know my days are coming with my little miss priss, HA! I don't understand why so many parents are embrassed to talk with their children about something so special that GOD CREATED for us as husbands and wives!!! Ok, I will get off my soap-box and be still : ) So happy for you guys and the way you are teaching your children!

Anonymous said...

We are *very* much in agreement with your sex-ed philosophy, especially because of my husband's story. He was 24 when we got engaged. His mom told him she had a book that she wanted him to read when it got closer to the wedding. She waited until about 6 weeks before the wedding and gave him a book (LaHaye's book on sex) advising him to "ask Daddy if he had any further questions". What 24 year old man wants to begin "the talk" at that age? Prior to this, he had been told he WASN'T OLD ENOUGH whenever he asked questions, including the question he asked when he was around 12 (What's a bra?). When he was 8, a male teenage guest to his house shared his room overnight and stole his innocence...molested him. What's a kid to do when his parents haven't told him ANYTHING about his sexuality?! He carried this tormenting secret for years, finally telling me when we had been married for 2 years...and had built up the trust that his own parents never attempted to build with him.

Needless to say, we have a totally different approach and are very open with our children. We started educating as soon as they started noticing their sexual parts and have answered questions as they come. Christians seem to be scared to talk about sex, but we feel like that has really hurt the young people and changed "sex" from sacred to dirty/forbidden.

We recently bought the first 2 of the "miracle of creation" books by Susan Horner and will be reading them with our chidren soon. I would love to hear about any other good resources your readers might know of, and wish I were a mouse in your house so I could hear how you and your husband deal with this subject. I'm sure a post on the subject, although it may make you and readers blush, could be written maturely and carefully and would be a great help to other Christian parents. Thanks for sharing!

PS - My husband never did read the book, but had learned enough from friends to get by until we figured everything out together. :)

From another Conservative Holiness Mom to 3 children under the age of 6
(name withheld to protect my husband's privacy)

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